Friday’s Fostering Blog
I am pleased to report that we have had a pretty uneventful week. Following last weeks birthday fiasco we are relieved to have a week with relatively few tears and no tantrums at all. We never take it for granted but we have to say it’s a good week when we can get to the end of the week so smoothly.
One of the things we are trying to get a handle on is when our two birth daughters Annie and Lauren get too involved. We love that they are so involved with fostering Alice. Their whole lives have changed because we decided to foster. Things are frequently being disrupted, and they have learnt the art of flexibility – as so often we have to compromise with things we are doing.
Annie and Lauren have been remarkable in the way that they get on board with every new strategy that we try with Alice. However, sometimes the lines get blurred and them getting involved and supporting us turns into them trying to “parent” her. We have to gently remind them, that although their help and support is invaluable (in fact we could not do it without them), they are her siblings, and Charlie and I must do the parenting. This takes a certain degree of diplomacy. Lauren is particularly sensitive, and we don’t want to hurt her feelings. After all her heart is in the right place.
You’ve heard the saying “red rag to a bull” – well that is often the reaction we get from Alice when her two big sisters try to help or tell her to do something. She does not take instruction from anyone particularly well, but definitely not from her sisters!
It’s a huge learning experience. The key is to be flexible and to be prepared to change and adapt as necessary.
Less Ordinary Family Foster Care Blog