Emma’s Fostering Blog.
Today usual School runs, therapy and this afternoon a meeting at the School- had to be organised…Dan is a stickler for routine likes to have radio on in the car but has to watch the sat nav and give directions at the same time. I had an amusing drive taking him to therapy.
Dan was better than the sat nav he knew the route, short cuts and insisted I did exactly as my husband did when he usually takes him – children are funny they can’t remember things like a PE kit but they remember everything else. On the way back to school he was busy chatting about therapy – ‘good news’ he calls it, as I was listening it felt for a moment that my life is on the therapy table, nothing is private, it can cause concern, he has difficulty with conversation finding the right words to use and explaining, often comes across wrong because of his difficulties with communication. Sometimes it is amusing and I have lost count at the amount of times I have had to explain to people who don’t really know him about what he has said.
You get used to dealing with a variety of professionals coming to your home, everyone knows who you are and your situation, I understand it has to be this way to ensure they are kept safe from harm and abuse, however now and again you miss your privacy as you feel your always having to explain or justify yourself, but that’s just how it is when you Foster. Foster care is hard and challenging and isn’t always a barrel of laughs, you do need a sense of humour, it sounds like a cliché but it really can help us through the most difficult of times.
We sometimes use humour with our children, used in the right way its good at easing tensions with children plus being therapeutic for ourselves. I sometimes joke with other Foster carers – about running around the house naked – those days are long gone, actually I don’t think I actually ever did – certainly nowadays it’s more like coming down for breakfast in a candlewick dressing gown done up from head to toe, like Granny used to wear and the only fumbling I get up to in the dark is trying to look for this particular item in the middle of the night when I need the loo.
Experiencing trauma in childhood can have a severe and long lasting effect and when trauma is not resolved, a sense of fear and helplessness can carry over into adulthood. Comfort comes from feeling engaged and accepted by others, Dan certainly is, being able to feel comfortable in telling me about his visit makes me realise I’m doing a good job.
My thoughts are – being a Foster carer at times does make you feel as if you have to explain or justify yourself.
Emma’s Fostering Blog.
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