James (name changed) had a call from a ‘friend’ of Mums today. This is obviously a new tactic to communicate with him. It consisted of him saying how much Mum loves James and how she is devastated that she won’t be seeing him at Christmas.
Oh and by the way can you put £20 in an envelope and send it to Mum! James just blocked the number straight away without any discussion.
This level of behaviour reminds me of a placement from years back where Mum had decided that she wouldn’t have contact with her children anymore as it was too upsetting for her! However she then changed her mind but the Local Authority told her that it was unfair on the children for her to keep changing her mind about seeing her children.
She got round it by actually telling the kids to get the address and phone number of a friend. Mum would call the friend and ask to speak to the friend’s Mum. She would then tell the friend’s Mum a long story about how the children had been dragged screaming from her (they weren’t) and how she was being stopped from contacting her children.
She would then send a cheap pay as you go phone to the child, via the friend, and they could have contact without anyone knowing. She did this with all four children over a 5 year period and the phone was then used to organise the children being picked up, one by one, and returned to home.
This was a very difficult placement. Mum like to throw around complaints and accusations and it became quite a stressful time. It was probably the ‘worst’ placement that I have experienced as a carer with regards to dealing with family. The kids themselves were a product of her attitude to ‘entitlement’ and, unfortunately, the kids have followed her path into adulthood.
I think we all have a ‘not to be forgotten’ placement and that is mine.
We had a really great weekend. James had a football match on Saturday so I went with him and stayed to watch. He played really well and scored a goal which cost me £1 as we had decided on a ‘bonus scheme’ where I gave him a pound for every goal he scored.
I chatted to some of the other parents there which was nice. We went home, via Pizza Hut, and watched the football on the TV and followed that up with a film. James went off to bed at 11.30. Sunday I took him to the garden centre, which he found incredibly boring until we went into the cafeteria and had a cooked breakfast. Sunday afternoon was spent watching football, for a change, and James got his uniform and school gear ready for the week ahead.
He went off at 10 and I stayed to fill out my diary, update accounts and send a couple of emails. I sat and reflected on James and his situation and whether it would have any long term effects on him when he went into adulthood.
I went to bed about midnight and looked forward to another positive week.
Simply Fostering Blogging Foster Carer.