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Fostering Blog | Mum

Fostering Blog – Mum.

James (name changed) had training on Tuesday evening, which I was pleased about as the meeting on Wednesday was clearly on his mind. I had arranged with the school for him to have Wednesday off so he could prepare and be in a more relaxed frame of mind.

Every one arrived at about 11. There was James and I, his Social Worker (SW) and my Supervising Social Worker (SSW). We got the small talk and drinks out of the way and James was asked how he was. James stated that he was very happy and was thriving.

He enjoyed his school and social life and said that he enjoyed having someone looking after him. He then went on to say that there were times with Mum that he was genuinely scared for his own safety. I wasn’t Mum so much but the people who were ‘friends’ and visited the house.

I have to say that even I was surprised at his outpouring. The SW stated that it had always been the case that Mum had needed to go through rehab before they would consider returning James to her care. But that once she had they would look at James returning home. James basically said that he didn’t want to return home.

He said how Mum had been down this route before, that she had attempted rehab. He said that she had got home from rehab on a Friday and had all her friends around on the Saturday and started taking drugs again. The rehab had lasted less than 24 hours.

The SW was writing all of this down. James then went on to say that he thought it was in his best interests to stay with me, where he was well looked after. The SW looked at me and I wondered if she thought I’d prompted James to say all this.

My SSW obviously shared my view so stated that she understood how James felt but didn’t he want to go to his Mum? James said no!

I have to say that this was a first for me. Young people, in care, always seem to have a blind loyalty towards their parents and want to go home, regardless of what had happened to bring them into the care situation. I felt happy that James felt this way but also started wondering if there was more that hadn’t been disclosed by him about things at home.

We took a short break for tea and biscuits and I left them to talk to James alone. After about 30 minutes I was asked to return.

James was visibly upset, which concerned me. James then left the room. Apparently James had opened up about some physical abuse that he had been keeping to himself. It didn’t involve Mum but a man who was one of Mum’s best friends.

James had told his Mum but she refused to believe him. The man had sexually abused James. It was the same man that had visited us a few months earlier and had also tried to get James in his car when James was outside school. It all made a bit more sense now.

Foster care Blog.

The meeting finished and the SW left saying that she had to talk to her manager about James’ disclosures and she would catch up in a few days time. The SSW left shortly afterwards after telling James that he done a good job opening up like he did.

Poor James looked shattered.

Fosterman – A Simply Fostering Blogging Foster Carer – Telling it as it is.