Emma’s fostering blog
When you are a foster carer it can be a roller coaster experience with happy and sad times, as you welcome a child into your home you never really know how long they will stay but after a short while they become part of the family and everyone embraces this.
Then one day everything changes as you hear from the social worker that the child is moving on. From being part of our family, now you have to let them go as you introduce another family, it’s not easy emotionally for the carer or child as you are preparing the child to move on.
It might be adoption or back to their family, none the less it hurts so much to know there will be a void in your life, a seat at the table where they once sat, an empty bedroom, then waving goodbye knowing it is unlikely you will see them again, but always thinking of them.
The house is so quite your thinking ‘I’m not sure if I can go through this heartbreak again…
I’m still here, still a foster carer after many years, and you do survive this but it never gets easier, you just use your experience and get through it. Thomas has been with us just over two years, he’s such a lovely boy who has a laugh that is infectious and a smile that lights up the room, he loves playing with his trains and he’s 3 now.
Thomas had come from a violent family, he was anxious all the time, hardly slept, and cried a lot of the time, what a massive difference when you see him now. Thomas is going to a good home and will have his forever family, it helps that I like them and I really believe he will be happy, wanted and loved by his new mummy and daddy.
Time is a great healer; it’s extremely hard when children move on for whatever reason, as you can doubt yourself! We shouldn’t though; we all do a good job in preparing children or young people on the next stage of their journey.
For Tom we gave him love and stability, we met all his needs and in the short time he lived with us, he achieved far beyond all expectations. If we hadn’t of given him such good experiences Thomas wouldn’t have been able to move on.
This was five years ago and as I am writing this it feels as if it was yesterday, I still think about him and all those lovely moments we shared. I am lucky though every Christmas I get a card with a little message letting me know he is happy with his mummy and Daddy.
My thoughts are this is truly what foster care is about, a happy ending for a child. I have to give myself a pat on the back as being a Foster Carer is special in my books.
Emma – A Foster Carer – I Love What I Do!