James (name changed) had training on Tuesday night so I dropped him down and hung around to watch them train.
There were a couple of other parents there and we got chatting. One asked me if James was really in Foster care as he had told his teammates he was. I normally wouldn’t say anything about this but as James had already told everybody it seemed pointless denying anything.
The parent went on to say that he was surprised as I had such a great relationship with James. He then asked what James had done wrong to be in care. I wasn’t impressed with the comment but just replied that it wasn’t anything that James had done.
He then asked what was wrong with the parents and I said that I wasn’t at liberty to discuss that. I don’t think the guy was intentionally being antagonistic but his comments are typical of what people think about kids in care, that they must have done something wrong.
At the earliest opportunity, I moved away and spoke to another parent who I had chatted with before. The lads finished training about 9 and we headed home. James asked what I was talking to Danny’s dad about so I just said that we were talking about football.
James gave me a knowing look and went off for his shower. James had a quick bite to eat and then headed off to bed. I sat for a while and then went to bed. To be honest I was fuming about what the guy had said. The fact that he thought it was something that James had done that had put him in care had really angered me.
The next day James went off to school and I had some chores and errands to do and I went to the Post Office to post to send some parcels. I stood in the queue and the chap in front of me turned around, it was Danny’s dad!
He smiled and said hello and proceeded to apologise for what he had said. He said that he had no understanding of how Fostering worked and just took it for granted that it was due to the child rather than the parent’s behaviour.
I accepted his apology and chatted for a while and we agreed to have a cuppa on Saturday while watching the football. I felt so much better as he obviously now knew that James was in no way to blame for being in care. I got home and carried on with my housework.
James got home about 4:30 and we sat and had dinner. I told James I had met Danny’s dad and he laughed and asked if I had punched him. I laughed and said no. We watched football on TV that evening and James went off to bed at 10.
I sat and caught up with emails and social media and headed off myself at about 11. I slept well that night, unlike the night before.
Fosterman – A Simply Fostering Blogging Foster Carer
