Fostering Blog
I’ve never shopped more than in the last couple of days.
Chef James (name changed) is on a mission to go through the cookery book and my cholesterol level is heading north. Don’t get me wrong I am glad that I have opened his eyes to a possible future career but all this cooking, on top of lockdown; have me reaching for elasticated waistbands.
We have looked some colleges, online, to see what courses are available and what the entry criteria. I’m happy to do this with James but my concern is that once he is reunited with family they will dissuade him from taking it further and he won’t have somebody to fight his corner.
Maybe I am being unfair to his family but I have experienced this on so many occasions where all the work with young people just gets pushed away by family because those nasty Foster Carers suggested it. As a Foster Carer you are simply seen as part of the ‘system’ by placement’s family.
There has been several occasions where I have attended meetings or reviews and been criticised by parents even though their child is prospering. It seems, on some occasions, that whatever positive effect you have on a Looked After Child (LAC) is lost on parents, even where the placement is of a benefit to them or requested by them.
I remember one particular placement where the parent’s mantra was that education and school was a complete waste of time and that the children could learn as much watching the TV. That attitude is hard to argue given children’s sometime blind loyalty to their parents and what their parents say. Sure enough, with those children, homework, and in some cases school attendance, was a difficult task to monitor.
Obviously, being over critical about parents is a no no in front of LACs so the task of convincing children about education can be a tough one. I’ve always believed that the best way is to show a child how education can benefit them.
So along the lines of what do you enjoy doing? Identify that, and then discuss how the child can achieve their goal.
That way family are not part of the discussion and you are not seen to be critical of them. I’ve known a number of placements who have achieved goals that they would not have done, if they hadn’t come into care.
Unfortunately there are many cases where the children get sucked into the same cycle as the parents and are lost into the whole Social Services scenario.
So Chef James is on to cakes now. So my latest trip to Sainsbury was for eggs, flour and vanilla essence. I have to say that watching him so intense and focussed is a real positive and eating the results is even a bigger positive.
However the gas bill will probably be double and the dishwasher is getting hammered so a call to the Social Worker maybe required. Happy days.
A Blogging Foster Carers Blog.
