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Social etiquette

Fostering Blog

Thursday.

Easter could not have come soon enough. I was surprised how early it was this year, and how short the half half term was. Although the term has been short it has felt like it has dragged. I guess it hasn’t been helped by the dreadful weather we have had over the last month. It has been pretty hard work before leaving the house each day getting Alice in waterproofs in her wheelchair. And then there is getting her out of her waterproofs and dry every time we arrive home.

I couldn’t wait to get the girls home today, and at least have a break from the routine for a couple of weeks. Shortly after we arrived home, the door bell went. As usual Alice makes a dash for the door, crawling under my feet, almost tripping me over, She always has to be at the door first, wanting to know who is there, and getting attention from any visitor if possible. It was Lauren’s friend at the door. Alice starts talking to her, asking inappropriate questions, and making her feel a little uneasy. She had come to give Lauren an invitation to her birthday celebrations next week.

With no sense of social etiquette, Alice asks Lauren’s friend if she can come to her party too. Lauren’s friend looked so embarrassed and didn’t know how to reposed, Lauren looked equally mortified. I jumped right in and told Alice that Lauren’s friend was inviting Lauren to her party. I explained that she will get to go to parties when her friends invite her. I’m not sure whether she understood or not, but she pulled a face and started crying. I told Lauren and her friend to ignore her, and I tool Alice through to the other room.

Social situations can often be awkward. Alice has no inner monologue and often blurts out what she is thinking. She thinks the world revolves around her and has no idea why she wouldn’t be invited to Lauren’s friends party. I don’t think any amount of explaining helps her to really understand. Such situations can cause mild embarrassment for Charlie and I, however, for Lauren and Annie, they hate it and just want the ground to swallow them!

These situations remind us that Lauren and Annie are just two normal kids that feel the same things as other kids and just because they are part of a fostering family, doesn’t necessarily mean they are more equipped to deal with such socially awkward situations. We don’t always know the best way to help them. I think I will talk to our agency social worker to see if the agency can do anything for birth kids around this.

A Less Ordinary Fostering Family Blog.