Alice – Fostering Blog
Alice has gone to holiday club today. She was picked up by the staff at 8.30am and is not dues back util 4:30pm. They are off to a local wildlife park for the day. The trip is organised by our local disability charity. They pretty much think of everything. They ensured all of their staff were fully trained with all the medical procedures before the holiday. Before we moved here she was part of a mother group – but I would always have to go along to do her catheter and medicines. Although there were lovely days out for Alice, it kind of defeated the object of having the day for respite and I would then have to find child care for Annie and Lauren!!
It has been a lovely day for me to have some time with my girls – so we make the most of the day – doing each others nails, going shopping and having hot chocolate (and cake!!). It is great for them to both have a ‘normal’ day – no fights or tantrums, not having to negotiate before we do anything, just doing normal stuff. Charlie was working, so he didn’t get to come I did remind him that there will be plenty of opportunities to take the girls out on his own when we have our two week family holiday at the end of August.
When I get opportunities like these, I do like to try and have lots of fun with the girls, but also give them opportunities for them to say how they are really feeling – not just with every day stuff – like friendships and school but also how they are doing being in a fostering family. It is not a bed of roses – which is often how people make you feel – “aren’t you doing a great job”, “I could never do what you do, you are amazing” and so on.
Sometimes you feel like you can’t say how difficult it is at times and that sometime you don’t know what you are doing or that it comes at a cost to your family life… I just want Lauren and Annie to always be able to say how they feel. Just as we were finishing up our hot chocolates, Lauren told me that sometimes she finds it hard especially when Alice is having a meltdown, and people are around. She said sometimes she wished she was invisible.
I just wanted to scoop her up and give her a big hug – but realise there is a time and place – and she would defiantly wish she was invisible if I did that in the middle of the coffee shop.
I told her I understood how she felt – and that Charlie and I feel like that too. She couldn’t believe grown ups would feel that – I reassured her and told her that we must feel guilty about having those feelings – note to self too – easy said than done!!
It is good to talk though – and we always want our girls to know they can be open and honest with us – even if things are hard to hear at times.
A Less Ordinary Fostering Family Blog.