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Fosterman Foster Carer and James Blog

Mum Blog

It’s nice to be back to normal after both James (name changed) and yours truly had been suffering from man-flu.

James had returned to school and I was catching up with household chores and getting ready for Christmas. James had not further football matches until after Christmas so we could start our Christmas celebrations early.

Mum Blog.

James was really excited this year, about Christmas. We were still unsure what was happening about Mum and whether there was going to be any contact. Mum, as usual, wanted everything to be about her and all the arrangements to suit her.

I was ‘happy’ to try to accommodate her but not run around after her. Mum had already told social services she wanted to have the contact at her address and not at mine, social services offices or at a contact centre.

She also didn’t want anyone else there, just her and James. This, of course was refused. The contact would be at a contact centre with somebody in attendance. Mum said she would think about it and get back to the social worker. She then came back and said that she wanted a friend to be in attendance as well. This was also refused. Mum was unsure whether this was ‘acceptable’ to her.

I had decided to keep James posted on all of the things that were being discussed. I think he is old enough and mature enough to be kept informed. James got home and we sat and chatted about the conversation and I asked what his views were about the whole situation.

James said he would like to see Mum but he doubted her reasons for wanting to see him. He thought it was more about her wanting money or something from him. It was actually uncomfortable to hear him talking like this.

This was his Mum we were talking about and he was basically saying that she only wanted to see him to get things out of him. So, we sat and had dinner and James phone rang. It was a withheld number. We both said at the same time that it was probably his Mum.

So we ignored it. There were a number of calls that evening, all from withheld numbers. In the end James called Paige and sat and had a long chat with her. As always, that seemed to make him feel better and he was a lot more positive about stuff.

James went to have a bath while I cleared up the dinner things. James had left his phone on the table and it was constantly ringing, from a withheld number.

The next day I called James’ social worker to give them an update on what had happened. She seemed unsure what to do, whether to confront Mum or just ‘leave it’. I said that she should ask Mum not to keep calling as it was upsetting James and that was the most important factor.

So I left it to her, hoping that she would stop the calls happening. Again, I updated James on the day’s events and he rolled his eyes.

He spoke to Paige and then turned his phone off for the evening.

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